Romans 5:1-5

Well I guess it is about time that I provided an update regarding my life in Muncie thus far. And it’s… going.

The class content hasn’t been challenging… but that means I don’t want to do my work. Getting paid for real work and experience is good… but all consuming. Some new friends have been made… but I miss my girls.

Blah. If anything good has come out of this experience so far it is that I know what bars to go to for penny pitchers and craft beers.

Sorry for being such a downer.

It has always been easy to find the “buts” in my life. Guess I’ll just chalk it up as a combination of my genetic disposition and fallen nature.

But (yes, another but) I do not want to write off this experience yet.

Currently I am in that wonderful state of limbo where you just say fuck all and go with the flow. Another word for this state is hope.

If you are reading this (if anyone is reading this) you’ll look at the last couple of sentences and will go “huh?” But it’s true. My current let it be attitude is actually a profession of my hope. Kind of like that awful saying “let go and let god” without the tone of indifference.

I am here for a reason. Whatever that reason is maybe I will never know. Perhaps life at Ball State will teach me to be a good steward of my finances in a time when the economy sucks. Or possibly it will push me to realize how much I miss the city and community of Pittsburgh, and that the Midwest is not a viable option for my future life.

So all I can do is hope. And listen to Beyoncé.

i got a new man in my life...

and his name is keaton!!! yes, the love shack baby has finally emerged from the loins of his ever-so-lovely mother sara and he is beautiful. i have already started working on nicknames and my fave so far is sweet keats. as he gets older i will just call him keats for i have high expectations for this boy - he will be brilliant as well as easy on the eyes. congrats sara and kyle!!

in other news grad school is... well it just is. classes do not appear to be anything i can't handle. so far i have already known or been familar with all of the content (thanks dochoc and layton!) and haven't had much work outside of class... i am a ga for two very different, but engaging professors. the first is highly interested in family literacy (yay!) and i am currently helping her develop curriclum for a course on universal design instruction. the second prof's area of expertise is alternative communcation devices. basically i am overseeing his undergrad diagnostics class. although i am gaining great experience by working with these professor's they will most definitly be the death of me... also one cannot forget the city of muncie. already amanda and i have discovered some of its hidden jewels, but only time will tell whether or not i will strike up a love affair with this midwestern town.

on a side note i had the brilliant idea for a new tattoo (sorry mom). i have been studying through hebrews and in chapter 6 hope and faith in christ are compared to an anchor. this imagery just hit home with me and needless to say it would make an awesome tattoo. lots more planning needs to go into this idea and i already have some more fully developed concepts for other tattoos, but i still love this idea. when funds allow it, it will be done.

public enemies

--possible spoiler alert--

bearing in mind that the film featured johnny depp and christian bale, it left me wanting. not wanting in regards to brilliant acting, extensive shoot outs, and overall entertainment value, but rather it lacked hope. instead of depicting the glorious triumph of good over evil and the masses over the elite as the film’s trailers suggested, it reflected desolate people with no chance of escaping their current state. no matter if the characters held on to money, fame, security, or love, no one in the film was able to grasp on to anything remotely resembling truth or contentment. in the end there was no winner, there was no hope.

in actuality i should not be too surprised by the film’s content. director michael mann last couple of projects have all left me unsatisfied due in part to his constant focus on the depravity of man (hancock, miami vice). yes i am a calvinist and more that anyone else i should understand mann’s perspective and appreciate his message. however, one of the essential components to my faith is the embrace of grace and realization that redemption is possible despite ourselves. although mann understands and beautifully depicts human nature, he continuously fails to capture the optimism and hope that can be found in this world through christ.

one has to point out, however, that the film could not have been released at a better time. unemployment and increasing debt is rampant, and the american people are like those in ‘public enemies’ - constantly searching in all the wrong places for hope and redemption. it will be interesting to read the reviews of the film during the next couple of weeks and see how it fairs at the box office.