it's a way of being

My sister collects high heel shoes. I have a friend who collects piggy banks. Beaver Falls collects Geneva grads. Muncie collects … corn. Shoot, even Jesus collects disciples. Collecting is natural. It ties us to a certain ideal or memory or whatever that is essential in defining us as whom we are or want to be.

So last week during clinic when my eight-year-old client asked me if I collect anything, I realized to my chagrin that I do not collect anything. ANYTHING.

That’s frustrating. I eventually provided her with a bogus answer of books and sweaters (I really know how to impress this Hannah Montana generation let me tell you). Some truth was in the answer provided. I do have an excessive amount of sweaters and books. But I wouldn’t consider them a collection. They are just pieces of my day to day life.

Needless to say this put me in kind of a funk. Seriously how lame do you have to be to not collect anything? It seems so unnatural. But then a miracle occurred. I turned on my computer to do some work and played some tunes. Then it hit me… I collect music genres.

Most people I know stick to one genre. Yeah they have their favorite oldies or latest top 40 song they really enjoy, but for the most part they pick one type of music and embrace it until they die. But I don’t do that. Phases occur in my life when something just clicks, I find my niche, and basically download every obscure song from a specific genre for a good portion of a year. And then I move on to the next.

This is something I learned from my parents. Growing up with my parents their music tastes altered from year to year. From classic country to doo-wop, bluegrass to folk revival, sixties/seventies rock to whatever, my parents were constantly shifting through their records and cassette tapes and bringing new music into my life.

My parents never did get into disco, though. Thank you God.

Past genres in my life that I have devoured include ska, big band, classic rock, bubble gum pop, adult alternative, jazz fusion, British-wave, neo-folk, indie, glam rock, alt country, country, and immigrant punk. My latest genre obsession has been neo-soul.

You could chalk up the different genres as the result of changing times, interests, and taste. But I don’t think that’s it. I still love all the music I have collected and listen to it when the mood strikes.

I think on the surface level I collect genres for the challenge - the challenge to reach out and bring something foreign into my life. My parents were constantly changing their music and challenging me to learn about other cultures, times, and people. And I guess by searching for new music I can continue this tradition.

But what it really boils down to is that this genre changing actually brings me closer to my past, my home, and my parents. Earlier I stated that collecting ties us to that which is important in establishing our identity. And for me that involves my family.

Romans 5:1-5

Well I guess it is about time that I provided an update regarding my life in Muncie thus far. And it’s… going.

The class content hasn’t been challenging… but that means I don’t want to do my work. Getting paid for real work and experience is good… but all consuming. Some new friends have been made… but I miss my girls.

Blah. If anything good has come out of this experience so far it is that I know what bars to go to for penny pitchers and craft beers.

Sorry for being such a downer.

It has always been easy to find the “buts” in my life. Guess I’ll just chalk it up as a combination of my genetic disposition and fallen nature.

But (yes, another but) I do not want to write off this experience yet.

Currently I am in that wonderful state of limbo where you just say fuck all and go with the flow. Another word for this state is hope.

If you are reading this (if anyone is reading this) you’ll look at the last couple of sentences and will go “huh?” But it’s true. My current let it be attitude is actually a profession of my hope. Kind of like that awful saying “let go and let god” without the tone of indifference.

I am here for a reason. Whatever that reason is maybe I will never know. Perhaps life at Ball State will teach me to be a good steward of my finances in a time when the economy sucks. Or possibly it will push me to realize how much I miss the city and community of Pittsburgh, and that the Midwest is not a viable option for my future life.

So all I can do is hope. And listen to Beyoncé.

update...

soon. i will update soon. i swear. until then awesome music. word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI_7VRY1DRI

if you like this you'll love 100 yard dash. check check check it out.

oh. i almost forgot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjLNGlHmITs

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

enjoy.